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[personal profile] maidenbedlam
It is cracking me up that I am learning, through Facebook, the real names of people I have known for years.  Faire folk tend to take faire names, and I am old and easily confused and can only manage to remember one name per face...  if THAT. Thank goodness Facebook has photos.

When I was a sophomore in high school, I had a nickname given to me by a friend. It stuck for YEARS. I didn't mind it at the time, but after awhile it just became ridiculous. I successfully shook it off when I was about 21. In the past few years at Bristol, it has come up a couple of times. There's a good chunk of the Rennie population that was also involved with Rocky Horror -- and almost NO ONE at RHPS knew my real name.  I try not to squirm when the nickname comes up now; there's nothing WRONG with the name, and it's not other people's fault that it stuck so hard. It's just that after 20-some years of not hearing it,  it sounds wrong to me. (The reason I do not have a faire name is because I would completely forget to answer to it.)

On the subject of nicknames, I used to hate being called Jules, but I have adjusted, since it seems to just be the default nick for my name. There are a very few people who call me Jewel - my Mom and my high-school sweetheart both did, and my siblings do on occasion.  Beth does, sometimes, but when she realizes she is, she will slide an "s" onto the end. I have often said that I hate when people call me Jewel, but I have noticed that it's more that I hate when people ASSUME they can call me Jewel. When it is people who have known me for years and years, it sort of slides past my notice.

I  will almost always address people by the names they themselves give me, or however they were introduced. Thus, if you've been introduced as, say, Steven, I will likely NOT call you Steve. James from Water Street Bridge is an exception, and I can't even tell you why. He was introduced as James, but I nearly automatically started calling him Jimmy.  I'm conscious of it when I do it, and I try not to (and he has not registered a complaint, so I don't even know if he cares.)

If I call you by a name you'd prefer not to be called, please tell me, OK?


Date: 2009-10-22 04:37 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
I am so bad at names I tend to not even ask people theirs as I will forget it anyway. Which probably makes some people think I am not a friendly sort, so I should try harder. I usually remember people named Steve, but that is about it unless I am told over and over.

Date: 2009-10-22 05:25 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
For many years I seriously objected to "Rach" - in fact, my parents tell me that when I was 5, if someone called me Rach I'd put my hands on my hips and in a deeply offended tone I'd say: "My name is not Rach, it's RACHEL!"

Now - I even sign emails as Rach. It ceased to bother me at some point, but couldn't tell you when. I had a couple of nicknames back in HS, but nothing that stuck past graduation. :)

Date: 2009-10-22 10:41 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Another Rachel I know got nicknamed "Roach" so it could DEFINITELY be worse ;-)

with you there.

Date: 2009-10-22 05:51 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
I think it's hilarious that facebook has actually netted in more in-person friendships, and my ability to actually recognize people. Yay for technology!

And on James - he used to hate it when Bill Masino called him "Jimmy" but you're much cuter, so you have more rights ;) I try to call him James. I'm actually better at that than I am at calling Richard that way - my hub knows him as Rich. Plus, it's shorter!

Re: with you there.

Date: 2009-10-22 10:40 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Yes, Facebook has been very cool. It lets me put names with faces (Oooh! Epiphany!) and it's not difficult to find people who don't mind being found, so it's been a great way to reconnect with some old friends. Oh, and there's a pretty big polymer clay community there, too, so common interests and common acquaintances have helped me build even more friendships!

I asked Richard which he preferred, and he was pretty adamant about his full name, though he said he'd answer to Nox. James... *sigh*... I will have to try harder, simply because it isn't nice to call people by names they don't like!

Date: 2009-10-22 06:05 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Because there was already a Becky on my RHPS cast when I joined, I had to get a nickname. So, I was christened Bex. Once the first Becky left cast, I asked everyone to call me Becky instead of Bex. If they slipped I didn't mind.

I'm still called that name occasionally by people who didn't know me in RHPS. I guess it's just one of those nicknames.

Date: 2009-10-22 09:41 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
im called all sorts of names, but I may deserver them occasionally

Date: 2009-10-23 01:45 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
I was named Neisha so that they could call me Nikki...which they NEVER did. The only nickname that people ever attempt is Nish, which I loathe. I allow only 1 person to do so, and since I never really talk to him, I luckily never have to hear it :-D

I'm terrible with names. Great with faces and garb though. One of my friends from BRF is known to me as Not Roger, 'cause for close to a year I couldn't remember his name for anything no matter how often I was reminded. My brain was convinced he was a Roger. So now, even years later, he's Not Roger.

Date: 2009-10-23 10:58 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
i hate when people assume they can call me ger. and i hate that nickname in general. fortunately it doesn't happen that much.

Date: 2009-10-23 04:51 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
I find that I tend to only "friend" people that I know by real name. I guess if I don't know them well enough to know their real names, then I don't really consider them friends yet.

Date: 2009-10-23 05:05 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Facebook's definition of "friend" is a bit broad :-) However, remember that I run a business, and a good chunk of my customers are faire patrons. Establishing a one-on-one personal relationship with my customers is a win-win. I've also made some connections with people at other faires through mutual acquaintances, and if I plan to try to sell at Texas or Ohio or TenRen, it's great to have that sort of automatic recognition factor. Facebook has become an excellent networking tool. And then there are people like Deacon, who never use their real names anywhere but at their workplaces. I had no idea who Allen Kirkland was, but I would definitely consider Deacon a good friend.

Date: 2009-10-24 02:07 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
All good points, and I agree and Facebook's definition is rather broad.

At the same time, I think there's also some personality differences involved as well. You tend to be more outgoing, and I tend to be more reserved. I think perhaps my original comment wasn't worded clearly. I tend not to interact with the personas at faire, so I'm more likely to know a real name than assumed one. I guess I'm just not tuned to that frequency.

Date: 2009-10-23 06:02 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
I'm Thomas. I've always been Thomas, and when I was younger I used to insist on that name too - Tom just felt *wrong* somehow. But then, as I got older a rare few people called me Tom just out of instinct, I guess, and it stuck with them. Some people call me Tom, and some call me Thomas, and whether I like it or not seems to all depend on my relationship with the person and the emotional connotations that Tom vs Thomas seems to have for me.

Does that sound odd?

Date: 2009-10-23 06:10 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Not odd at all. I'm hyper-conscious of it when people call me Jewel, but my siblings and my best friend routinely "get away with it."

My last ex-boyfriend is a Thomas. He WAS usually called Tom, by his parents, his co-workers and his friends, but he really hated it. Sadly "Tom" stuck because that's how I was introduced to him, but I always thought/think of him as Thomas.

If someone we know referred to you as Tom, I would have absolutely no idea who they were talking about :)

Date: 2009-10-24 02:00 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Although my full name is Frederick (three syllables and all) I think of myself as Fred, and that the way I usually introduce myself. My Mom never liked Freddy and I kind of picked that up from her, although not as badly. When I was a kid, I used to be called Ricky (the "rick" part, I suppose) and some of my relatives still call me by that name.

But, all things considered, I prefer to be a Fred.

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